Can Confidence Be Learned?

Transcript

0:00 today you will learn what is ambition 0:03 habits and how it can help you build 0:06 confidence in your sport so don't go 0:09 anywhere I will see you very 0:12 [Music] 0:15 shortly welcome to ambition habits hi 0:18 I'm Tiff uh lovely to see you here for 0:21 today's episode what we're going to be 0:23 focusing on today is how you can build 0:27 your confidence and we're going to 0:28 create some awarenesses around that in 0:32 the sense of what's actually holding you 0:34 back from building that confidence uh 0:36 creating those awarenesses on what you 0:38 need to do in moving forward to create 0:41 confidence in you so that you're getting 0:44 yourself set to accomplish whatever it 0:47 is you need to be accomplishing out in 0:49 the arena of your sport and also it will 0:51 help you in everyday life but what we 0:53 want to be focusing on now some really 0:55 simple tips on what you can do in moving 0:58 forward to help you accomplish your 1:02 sports goals in the sense of 1:04 self-confidence so before we do that 1:07 what I want to share with you quickly is 1:09 why did ambition habits develop and 1:12 evolve and what it what it's designed to 1:14 do to help for you so ambition habits 1:18 came along it's been sitting in my back 1:20 of my mind for a long time I'm a a golf 1:23 professional I teach golf I take women 1:25 on golf tours I'm a professional tennis 1:28 coach um 1:30 I you know I've taught many people over 1:32 the years in tennis and and golf I'm an 1:34 accomplished Sports person myself and um 1:38 continue to be so as I grow older uh you 1:40 never want to stop playing sport as you 1:43 get older especially if you're a sports 1:44 person like me you just want to play it 1:46 more and more while your body's willing 1:48 and able and your mind's willing and 1:49 able so the thing that I wanted to um 1:53 designed for women was a way in which 1:56 that they could build confidence in 1:58 themselves so that they could go out and 2:00 feel really good about themselves when 2:02 they're playing Sport and it was really 2:04 not so much about the elite level of 2:06 sport even though a lot of the 2:07 strategies I'm going to share with you 2:09 can apply to that but it was mostly 2:11 about helping the everyday female 2:14 athlete and what I mean by that is that 2:16 woman who goes out and plays during the 2:18 week in whatever competition she's 2:20 playing tennis golf bowls um karate um 2:26 soccer walking soccer you know pickle 2:29 ball whatever those Sports may be for 2:32 you and whether you're doing it during 2:35 the week or whether you're doing it on 2:36 the weekend you might be going away for 2:38 local competitions you might be or 2:40 Regional competitions you might be 2:42 playing local competitions you might be 2:44 focusing on playing State competitions 2:46 whatever that is but I felt that that 2:49 was a a big thing that was really 2:51 missing for women and because I teach so 2:54 many women especially in golf these days 2:56 is a lot of it is they you know they're 2:58 worried about letting people down 2:59 they're worried about not um being good 3:02 enough they're worried about even if 3:03 they take up the sport of golf that 3:05 they're never going to be good enough 3:06 they're going to hold everyone back um 3:08 they're going to look like a fool um and 3:11 they really lack that confidence within 3:13 some of them have never played sport 3:15 before you know growing up and you know 3:17 raising a family and and all of that and 3:19 they've come to a a you know 60 3:22 something years of age and have now 3:24 retired and and you know very much a 3:26 grandparent but want to take something 3:28 up for them and they're looking to take 3:30 up other sports golf's been a big one 3:32 that I've been focused on with women and 3:35 yet they still feel that they're not 3:37 going to be good enough and um you know 3:40 there's a lot of 3:42 um that feeling of inadequacy about them 3:46 because they've never played sport 3:48 before so the thing that I felt like 3:51 what women really need is is a way in 3:54 which and and strategies and skills in 3:57 place in how they can overcome that so 4:00 that's where really ambition habits was 4:02 born was listening to a lot of women and 4:05 discussing with a lot of women over the 4:07 time of um you know that feeling of not 4:11 being good enough or that feeling of 4:13 never playing sport before or that 4:14 feeling of feeling inadequate or that 4:16 feeling of um feeling overwhelmed 4:19 feeling very nervous about putting 4:21 themselves out there and and learning a 4:23 new sport so hence ambition habits was 4:27 born and so what the goal is is to help 4:31 build confidence in the sporting woman 4:34 okay so it doesn't really matter if 4:35 you're a beginner uh or you're 4:37 intermediate you're Advanced or you've 4:40 just taken up a new sport in something 4:41 else or you're thinking about playing a 4:43 new sport or you've been playing for 4:45 some time but you're finding that some 4:47 things are starting to hold you back and 4:48 you're not really sure why I can 4:50 guarantee it's all about what's going up 4:52 in your mind so what we're going to be 4:55 focused on in ambition habits is how to 4:57 deal with that so that if you're playing 5:01 socially and you enjoy socially and you 5:03 want to keep playing socially but you 5:04 want to play better we'll have some 5:07 skills in place for you if you want to 5:10 go and um maybe start playing some local 5:12 competitions at your club or so forth 5:15 again we'll have some skills and 5:16 strategies available there for you to to 5:18 help you um you whether you want to 5:21 shift from being a beginner into 5:23 intermediate or advanced in whatever 5:25 sport that you're playing or you've got 5:27 bigger aspirations and you want to go 5:28 and play State and and National and even 5:31 go and play world events great we're 5:33 here for you as well I've got a lot of 5:35 experience in in my own um sporting uh 5:39 side and um because I've been playing 5:41 sport my whole life I've been coaching 5:44 sport pretty much since I was an adult 5:46 so it's number of years now I won't tell 5:48 you how long um but you know I'm still 5:51 that you know competitive athlete that 5:53 wants to accomplish big big things I've 5:55 just recently taken up a new sport lawn 5:58 balls um absolutely love it I'm 6:00 absolutely hooked so I've got big 6:02 aspirations on what I want to accomplish 6:05 uh from that sport so I'm going on my 6:08 next Journey from from tennis to to golf 6:11 to now lawn balls of course pickle balls 6:14 going to start coming in there as well 6:16 of course there's going to be other 6:17 sports um but we want to put ourselves 6:22 in a position where we're going to 6:24 perform better whatever that level is 6:26 socially in practice um competition 6:29 level whatever whatever that is so 6:31 that's how really ambition habits came 6:34 about because I wanted to help that 6:37 everyday female um 6:40 woman who wanted to take up a sport lack 6:45 the confidence I can show you the way on 6:48 how to do that how to develop the skills 6:50 how to in any sport we can work on 6:52 doesn't have to be necessarily tennis 6:54 golf Lawn balls pickle ball soccer 6:57 whatever whatever the sport is that 6:59 you're really passionate about I can 7:00 help you do that and um majority of the 7:03 time it's going to be what's up here the 7:06 skill level will develop but it'll be 7:08 usually what your selft talk and and 7:10 your attitude about what's going on in 7:12 in learning the sport and advancing in 7:14 the sport um will be the thing that will 7:17 possibly hold you back or help you 7:19 advance but like I said we're here to 7:21 help you do that so I'm very excited 7:23 about that so what does really ambition 7:26 habits mean well it's really about you 7:29 developing the habits so it'll be you 7:33 know mental habits it'll be physical 7:35 habits it'll be nutritional habits it'll 7:38 be physical habits um it'll be Sports 7:40 skills habits um to help you accomplish 7:44 your ambition is really what that's 7:46 about so because my focus and my 7:50 expertise is in sport and has been my 7:52 whole life I've played sport my whole 7:54 life I love sport I live and breathe 7:56 sport um I felt that it was a a great 8:00 way to help women in whatever level 8:03 they're at beginner intermediate Advance 8:06 thinking about playing a sport lacking 8:09 confidence um wanting to accomplish some 8:11 big goals wanting to accomplish some 8:13 even some local you know local sporting 8:16 goals or whatever it may be I felt that 8:18 I have the experience in place because 8:21 I've been part of this industry for my 8:23 you know my whole life that I can help 8:26 you create those habits that you need to 8:29 have in place to accomplish whatever 8:32 that ambition is that you're going after 8:34 so that's how ambition habits came about 8:38 so I'm really excited about ambition 8:40 habits quickly I'll just share my story 8:43 with you because it's been a journey so 8:47 you know growing up I really wanted to 8:49 be a professional tennis player six 8:52 years of age I fell in love might have 8:54 been seven fell in love with tennis and 8:56 I knew that that was my sport I knew 8:59 that that was was the thing that I was 9:00 going to pursue for the rest of my life 9:02 that's what I I felt like at the age of 9:04 seven I just knew exactly what I was 9:06 going to be when I finished school I was 9:07 going to be a professional tennis player 9:09 I was going to travel the world make 9:11 lots of money um play incredible 9:14 tournaments um be rich and famous all of 9:17 that sort of stuff was was the plan and 9:20 uh As I Grew Older um I became more 9:25 self-conscious so especially 15 16 years 9:28 of age I started to doubt myself yes I 9:31 had some negativity around me from from 9:34 people not my parents my parents were 9:36 very supportive and loving um my mom you 9:39 know was there every step of the way and 9:41 wanted to help me in any way that she 9:43 could um but yeah I I felt uh very 9:47 self-conscious started to worry about my 9:50 performances started to worry about what 9:52 people thought of me um I used to train 9:55 really really hard I went to a tennis 9:56 academy when I'd finished school and 9:58 trained really really hard there but I 10:01 felt like I wasn't progressing um you 10:03 know we do a lot of drills a lot of 10:04 training I did extra training so you 10:07 know at times I'd be training anywhere 10:08 between 10 12 hours a day working really 10:11 hard 10:13 physically and you know I went overseas 10:16 and played some tournaments and and all 10:18 that kind of stuff and but I just never 10:20 got past the first round and I was just 10:22 really frustrated and upset why that 10:25 didn't happen and I didn't know at the 10:27 time that it was actually what was going 10:29 on in my mind that was actually holding 10:31 me back and so um when I decided to give 10:36 up that dream which was absolutely 10:38 devastating um I then uh later on went 10:42 on this journey of discovery of what was 10:45 it that actually held me back from 10:48 accomplishing those big dreams that I 10:50 had in my Sport and what I discovered 10:53 was it was lack of 10:55 self-confidence it was lack of belief it 10:58 was poor self talk never thought I was 11:00 good enough thought I was a joke never 11:03 thought I'd be able to accomplish 11:05 anything cuz I just couldn't do that 11:07 because why would the likes of me be 11:09 able to do that even though I knew that 11:11 I had the talent physically I had the 11:13 skills in place it was a constant put 11:15 down that I had in place for me so I 11:18 constantly put myself down so um at the 11:22 time I didn't know that but when I took 11:24 up golf in my 30s I was like ah I've got 11:28 these tennis demons coming back to haunt 11:30 me and so this is really when the 11:32 journey started on discovering what it 11:35 was that actually held me back from my 11:36 tennis because it was coming up in my 11:38 golf so I went on this huge personal de 11:41 development journey to discover actually 11:43 what was going on so like I said it was 11:45 all that lack of self-confidence lack of 11:47 belief poor selft talk and everything 11:50 else around that so never thought I was 11:52 good enough so um so that it was 11:55 tackling those demons and working 11:57 through that and that's what I had 11:59 focused on from from that because I 12:01 didn't want to repeat history in the 12:04 sense of have that same um 12:06 disappointment that I had in tennis I 12:09 didn't want to repeat that in another 12:11 sport so I I began to work on that uh 12:15 throughout that time though I was a 12:16 tennis coach I've been a golf coach um I 12:19 take women overseas around the world 12:22 overseas um locally in Australia here 12:26 for golf tours in helping them build 12:28 their confidence in their Golf and um 12:32 I'm really passionate about helping not 12:34 just women in golf but women in sport in 12:37 the local level in CU I feel like 12:39 they're the ones that are missing out I 12:41 feel like you know the there's other 12:43 women who um and young athletes that are 12:47 getting looked after at the elite level 12:49 and and the younger ones they're being 12:50 encouraged to to come through which is 12:53 fantastic but I find that that Local 12:55 woman competitor who's playing that 12:57 Weekly competition 12:59 whether it be during the week or on the 13:01 weekend seems to miss out and seems to 13:03 lack that confidence and because they 13:05 don't have that aspiration of being a 13:08 professional athlete then they think 13:10 that they don't need to work on you know 13:12 that mental side in building that 13:14 confidence in themselves and I can tell 13:17 you uh it doesn't matter what level of 13:20 sport you play you need to to build that 13:23 confidence within you because the thing 13:25 is is you want to feel really good about 13:28 what you're doing when you're playing 13:29 the sport you don't want to walk out 13:31 there and go oh G I'm not good enough G 13:33 I'm terrible G I played hopeless today 13:35 why did I bother showing up I'm just not 13:37 good enough I think I'll give up the 13:39 sport I'll be better off you know going 13:41 do someing or you know going to the gym 13:43 or go look after the grandkids or doing 13:46 whatever it may be rather than playing 13:48 Sport and I'm here to tell you that it 13:50 doesn't have to be that way all you need 13:52 to do though is start building that 13:54 confidence within and I'm going to show 13:56 you through ambition habits how to do 13:58 that 14:00 so let's talk about how to build 14:02 self-confidence right now how can we do 14:05 that so in my book it's called Focus how 14:09 to reach potential in sport business and 14:11 life and really it's based on uh my 14:14 lessons learned from Sport and books 14:17 really about building belief and 14:19 confidence within uh what I share in 14:22 that book is uh it's called T TF R and 14:28 what it stands for is T is for thoughts 14:32 F is for feelings A is for actions and R 14:35 is for results so if we think about it 14:38 this way your thoughts will influence 14:41 your feelings your feelings will 14:43 influence your actions and then your 14:45 actions will produce whatever those 14:47 results may be so if you think about it 14:50 like if you're thinking really 14:51 positively about something you say oh 14:52 dear you know I'm really good at um 14:55 playing golf for example you know I've 14:58 got a really good swing I hit the ball 15:00 great off the off the tea right so your 15:03 thoughts about that is like I feel 15:05 really good about that so when you step 15:07 out onto the tea box then you go oh yeah 15:09 you know I feel really good about that 15:11 so the feeling is that that feeling 15:13 within you feeling quite confident right 15:17 then the action that you're going to 15:19 produce is you're going to hit a lovely 15:21 shot down the the center of the Fairway 15:23 because you're confident within that you 15:25 can actually produce that action right 15:27 cuz your thoughts are I'm really good at 15:28 it 15:29 I am I feel really good at it cuz I feel 15:33 really confident at it and then you can 15:35 produce that action then the result is 15:37 you hit the ball down the middle of the 15:38 Fairway and it's like yooo Happy Days 15:41 right fantastic 15:44 but then we could go the other way and 15:48 we flip it over into the negative side 15:50 and again again the 15:53 TFR 15:55 thoughts feelings actions and results so 15:59 if you step on to the tea box and you go 16:01 I can't drive I'm not very good at golf 16:03 I'm you know I'm too nervous I'm um um 16:07 um I'm going to let everyone down it's 16:09 so embarrassing being here I'm just so 16:11 hopeless at golf then your feelings is 16:14 like you don't feel confident right you 16:16 feel nervous you feel worried you're 16:18 worried about what other people think of 16:20 you your body language shows that too 16:23 you slump yourself around you talk 16:25 yourself down you tell everyone that 16:26 you're not good enough anyway 16:29 then you go to play your shot so we're 16:31 talking about then the action you go to 16:33 play your shot you muff it up you hit it 16:35 right or left or you top it doesn't go 16:36 very far completely embarrassed and then 16:40 that's the result isn't it you're 16:41 completely embarrassed haven't hit the 16:43 ball where you wanted it to but if your 16:46 look at it your approach was negative 16:50 thoughts negative feelings you created 16:53 negative actions and then you created 16:55 negative results and something as simple 16:58 as that that can actually affect your 17:00 confidence in your in you know how you 17:03 perform in your sport so the thing is is 17:05 you've got to look at what are you 17:07 actually 17:08 thinking when you're going to play your 17:10 sport what is your your approach like 17:13 cuz I've taken up Laur balls 17:16 recently I've noticed a lot of women 17:18 will talk themselves down oh I'm not 17:21 good enough at this I'm not good enough 17:23 at sport I'm not you know um I've never 17:26 played sport before so I'm not going to 17:27 be good at this sport 17:29 I see that in golf all the time don't 17:31 worry ladies women I hear it from the 17:34 men as well I was having a conversation 17:37 with a guy this morning who's in his 70s 17:39 goes oh no I'm not good at lawn balls oh 17:41 no I'm not good at golf I'm not good at 17:43 so so therefore then he's not going to 17:45 be good at that either because he talks 17:47 himself down the thing is is we have to 17:49 talk ourselves up okay so the thing is 17:52 is we want to be aware of what our 17:54 thoughts are what our feelings are what 17:56 our actions are because they're the 17:59 things that are actually going to 18:00 produce our 18:01 results so here is what I want you to 18:04 look at 18:05 today when you go and play your 18:09 sport whenever that may be straight 18:11 after you're listening to this podcast 18:13 or watching this video cuz it's on video 18:16 also what I want you to be aware of and 18:20 all we're going to do today is just 18:22 create 18:22 awarenesses what is it that's going on 18:26 in your head okay I just want you to be 18:28 aware 18:29 maybe take a notebook with you and take 18:31 some notes as you go and actually start 18:33 being aware of actually what's going on 18:35 so I want you to note down what your tea 18:38 your thoughts are okay let's be aware of 18:41 them today so what are your thoughts 18:43 around your sport what do you thinking 18:45 about your 18:46 sport once you've done that then I want 18:48 you to put f for feeling not anything 18:51 else but f for feeling and that's your 18:54 emotions what are the emotions that 18:56 you're actually feeling around the sport 18:58 that you're actually going to go and 19:00 play or even practice today what is it 19:03 that your feelings are around that then 19:06 I want you then to record what are the 19:09 actions then you are taking what is it 19:12 are you repeating the same error each 19:14 time are you replicating a great 19:16 technique each time just record what's 19:20 going on okay with regards to the 19:23 actions and then the final one is then 19:26 the result what is actually the result 19:29 so if you're making a lot of errors and 19:31 you're mucking up a lot and things 19:32 aren't happening and you're shaking your 19:34 head and you know putting your hands on 19:36 your hips and so on is it the fact that 19:40 it's your thoughts that are negative 19:43 you're talking yourself down that are 19:46 creating the feelings that you're 19:47 frustrated and angry and disappointed 19:49 and what's the point of this I'm never 19:51 going to get this type attitude that's 19:54 creating these actions and results for 19:56 you that's holding you back right so we 19:59 want to see if that's that's the thing 20:01 that's going on for you or is it the 20:04 fact that you know what I am actually 20:06 good at this do you know I do talk 20:09 myself up about this and I'm um my 20:12 feeling is like I feel really confident 20:14 about this and so those actions and 20:16 results will show that so I just want 20:18 you to create an awareness around that 20:19 today so that's what your homework is 20:21 going to be so I want you to come back 20:23 to me whether you leave a um a message 20:27 below here wherever you hear this 20:29 podcast or or video episode uh you can 20:32 reach out to me and send me an email in 20:34 my email address whatever it is that you 20:36 how you want to contact me and let me 20:38 know what your TF a is going on whether 20:43 it's positive or negative what the selft 20:45 Talk's actually going on what kind of 20:47 actions and results you're actually 20:48 producing for yourself today right so 20:50 we're going to focus on those 20:51 awarenesses today so I hope you really 20:54 enjoyed today's episode love it if you 20:56 could share with me below what you like 20:58 best about what you heard today and 21:00 remember this dream big believe in you 21:02 go after your dreams take care talk soon 21:05 bye for now